Today my awful boss wanted us to solve her problems for her. Using the wonderfully scientific method of showing us pictures in a book she is too stupid to read, she sent us out for a weed. Despite her best efforts, my vast knowledge indicates that the Lilium coprophagus might actually be useful in healing sickness. Healing a “Mighty Lord” seems like it is beneath my great destiny, but I suppose we’ll give it a shot.
We delved deep underground to the Goblin quarters. After lifting their spirits with a cheery ballad, we were a great assistance to a broken goblin that likely had his head broken by monsters a few years ago. In extreme gratitude for us saving him from a lifetime of disability, he guided us along our path.
We reach a pit, dark and menacing music emanating from the depths. I nobly go first, diving down into the darkness to face my destiny. My boon companion quickly follows, facing her fear of the darkness, and the corporate schill follows her. Our bold accountant and sign spinner brings up the rear.
As we make our way through the labyrinth, we slowly make our way through some doors that have been barred against our quest, plowing through difficulties with the aplomb of true heroes (and a corporate schill). A chance encounter with some sadly ill goblins yields no results, and they fail to warn us of a trap in the next room. This bears further investigation, as they may have been in league with any number of dark agencies arrayed against us. I can’t be sure yet. I manage to save the schill from certain doom in falling into a pit trap, and make my way into the lair of a pair of monstrous centipedes. It falls for my cunning ruse, as I pretend not to notice it, and it comes down from its hiding place on the ceiling into reach of our weaponry. A pitched battle ensues, and we emerge triumphant against them.
Moving on, the schill uses his corporate training to help us avoid the pitfalls of goblin archetecture. We find some poisonous flowers, which I save for future reference, and at long last reach our goal.
Upon coming back up into the glorious light of day, basking in our victory, I use the Lilium coprophagus to create a powerful medicine for the Lord. We were confronted by the idiot Qaudueq (Orc for [expletive deleted]), who expressed an irrational fear of me accidentally or intentionally blowing up his father. He seemed too thick to understand that I only kill monsters, but luckily Rekki used her winning ways to get him to agree to not interfere with my work in any way beyond the distraction of his idiocy being in the room. After Rekki and I complete our hard work, the Qaudueq accuses ME of trying to poison his father and demanded that I be searched. Luckily, one of the guards has a sudden crisis of concience and confesses that Qaudueq not only was trying to poison his father, but also was engaging in carnal relations with swine. Upon a search, he is found to have poison on his person. I apply my scientific cure, he is brought out of his coma. We are amply rewarded with both gold and a badge of the House of Bells.